Good Evening Fellow Republicans and Children of God!
I’m here to fight the forces of evil, the liberal media, Democrats and other tools of Satan, just like I fought the forces of teen pregnancy and sex education. Many people say what’s this hockey mom with no experience in foreign policy doing here as a Vice President candidate? Let me tell you something – Alaska is right next to Russia so I got lots of foreign experience. And my 5 years in the PTA dealing with teachers and administrators make me a lot more qualified than Barook Obama. Vladimir Putin and Hu Jintao better watch out – they’ve never dealt with a gun totin’, Bible thumpin’ Alaska reformer like me. I’ll shoot down those Russkies and Chinese like my husband’s oil company shoots down the polar bears.
I warn ya, critics better not take any shots at me cuz I’m a woman. And we all know how Republicans treat women so well, just like we did Hillary Clinton when she was still in the race. So whether I’m in Juneau, Russia, Czechloslvakia or the border of Iraq and Pakistan, I’m ready to lead this country when John McCain takes one of his frequent naps or just passes out for good. GOD BLESS YOU!